Boys in swooping haircuts are bringing me down.

Currently I am single and surprisingly comfortable with that fact.

My last relationship was with a close friend of mine. I called him lunch date boy when we first met because that's what we did, lunch dates. He was so much different that most of the other guys I dated, responsible, preppy, Jewish and completely rational. Something about that seemed charming at the time.

Despite months of going on lunch dates, dinner dates and hanging out on a regular basis (while I was kind of seeing someone else), he didn't make a move until slightly inebriated after a party thrown by my roommate. Him and I were together for close to a year and for most of that time I was trying to make it work while he was apathetic. I was blind to that fact because I really, really liked him...or the comfort of being with someone who didn't try to get past the guard which I keep around my heart. Either way, I let myself continue dating someone who did not treat me the way I deserved to be treated.

He actually ended it before me...via the phone. We were in a fight, our only real fight ever, and I saw it coming, but so desperately wanted to make it all work out. He used the "it's not you, it's me" line which I've heard often but this time actually believed. As I cried, lunch date boy told me he thought that the relationship was going nowhere and he didn't want our friendship to be completely ruined.

Two months later, we don't have any sort of relationship. We are barely even acquaintances and I am so much happier. The more I think about him the more I wonder why I stuck with it. Am I that afraid of being alone? Perhaps. Note to self: don't make this mistake again.

Right now I am very much over the ex and drowning in crushes. Cute guitar boy, Russian hipster and the co-worker. All of them have their own complications though. Details later.